The Character Notepad.

What why.

2009-11-19T11:58:09Z

I found a crunkcore cover of I Kissed A Girl.
If the song could be worse... I may have found out how.

Writer's Block: Book review

2009-11-19T02:00:29Z

What (if any) books would you ban from a high school library? Are there certain subjects that you feel are inappropriate for teenagers regardless of literary merit?

View 1454 Answers

Lolwhat, why would you ban a book.

Batchix Nansook - Victory for Greene!

2009-10-07T19:37:20Z

One of my lovely internet friends made a doll! I got her in the mail and she looks killer-awesome.

The weird thing is, I met Batchix/K-chan on Oekaki and she was one of the people who had a style closer to mine, so it's very weird to see a bjd that looks like her art style and looks molike how I personally draw than pretty mych any BJD I'd ever see. I wanted the doll not just to support a friend's art but because the hip to bust ratio was perfect, and since she could be cast in any color I could make a character of mine I could never make otherwise. I was planning on making the character using a bobobie.

The thing is that the nansook has totally weird body proportions that I would make myself. Small ribcage and bust, wide hips, big feet and hands. Nansook, as you can see, has a totally different body. It doesn't look too uncommon in that lineup but if you look carefully, you can see all of the things I describe, the things that make the sculpt unusual. The character of mine is meant to be a short teenager who is dainty but not a child. This is actually really, really hard to find in any scale, but especially a 1/6th. Plus she cast it in the exact, specific color I wanted. I commissioned some sheepskin dyed in her exact hair color and it isn't half as perfect.

I'll take pictures of her after I paint her and make her look like my character, who you can see a little pixel version of as my LJ icon. She started out as an RPGmaker edit of STOLEN ARTWORK LULS I AM SO AMERICAN but then I kept redrawing her until she was more original and she has her own whole look that is distinctly me. That's why the weird colors I'm so particular about (She's ended up weirder than that icon, she's not just gray) and it'll be a lot of fun to make her look as true-to-greene. I hope I can find a doll to look like her older sister.

She sent a second head that I paid extra for and I winced as I filed every single feature down and covered it with apoxie sculpt so i could make a near-featureless moe head. it took to the sculpt almost too well, and I'm having a hell of a time refining it to have a nose. I might have actually destroyed the thing, but since I see just how the neck joint is and the strength of the apoxie, I may be able to make my own. What a shame! Well, I'm babbling long enough. Point is, I'm having a lot of fun and learning a lot about modifying heads.

Phillip is sick!

2009-09-28T02:00:03Z

This saddens me greatly. Even though it seems to be fairly minor, maybe a cold, maybe a pathetic flu, I am overly sympathetic to manflu. Mostly because, unlike the stereotypes, I am a weak woman and also get manflu and therefore fully expect people to pat my head and say poor little bunny. But the advantage is that even if Phillip doesn't act pathetic I treat him as though he broke all of his limbs, do all of the chores I can physically muster, clean up after him, cook whatever and whenever he likes, and flood him with welcome and unwelcome folk remedies, as well as every other typical medicinal remedy I know of. I'll go and buy him liquid Nyquil, Tylenol of all shapes and sizes, alkaseltzer, cold-ease, and follow him around with tissues, eyes wide. I'll scold him if he tries to do anything strenuous, help me with anything, and demand he do things relaxing that he enjoys.

You may think, "What a great girlfriend!" (for a moment, until you remember what I'm like) but you must remember that I will be whining and complaining when I'm sick. The dopey "check my forehead!" when the answer is obviously "uhh... it's actually a little cold. It couldn't be more normal" and refusing to clean anything that I drop. As Phillip has a limited amount of things he can cook, if I am terribly sick, he will be forced to go out and buy me my favorite foods, gifting me with the 3 pack of lobster rolls from Stop n Shop. And what will he do? He'll do it all, eyes wide, asking if he can do anything else with sincerity in his voice.

I am so badass, I have unconditional love from two people. (I consider my parents to be conditional)

Smell of cat and other strangeness.

2009-08-21T19:47:56Z

So after being left alone and then a guest, and then the heat and fleas and maybe being allergic to something, MY CAT GOT DEPRESSION.

Well, more accurately, he got anxiety. Little kitty panic attacks. We were told that what he needed was affection and for things to be familiar, so we layed in bed all day and played videogames. Somehow this has healed the cat, along with some other things that are all strange.

There is this thing that is like an air freshener that only cats can smell. It is called Feliway. In case you can't be bothered, here is what the site says:

Feliway^® is a synthetic copy of the feline facial pheromone, used by cats to mark their territory as safe and secure.

By mimicking the cat’s natural facial pheromones, Feliway^® creates a state of familiarity and security in the cat's local environment.

As a result, Feliway^® can be used to help comfort and reassure cats while they cope with a challenging situation and help prevent or reduce the stress caused by a change in their environment.

Basically, it smells like a happy cat rubbing its face on you, which is totally awesome to a cat. Koji is a sweet baby with us anyway, but now he's not just back to normal, he's more affectionate, as if it were possible.

The other strange thing absolutely cannot be proven and just happened to occur at the exact time as both of these things. Well, not exactly. It's mortifying, but I may as well share it for laughs. Now some people know, I am a witch, which I don't talk about because it is embarassing and dorky. Since it seems to work I figure it doesn't hurt to do it, but I'm sure it has to be psychological somehow or it's coincedental.

So I was feeling bad, so I uh, used magic to drain the negativity from me shut up. I cast most of the spell with my left hand and in the process burned it and I felt a dark presence emimating from it shut up. So in a half trance, I walk by Koji and thoughtlessly rub my hand over his back. He starts almost immedietly going into almost convulsions and shortly after we notice a large, long scab over his back where I touched. There was nothing on my hand, nothing at all.

But of course, it could be that it was odd smells and it was the last straw in all of the different things that happened.

So then after a while I light a white candle, put out a whisker, a clover, and I ring bells over him and uh pour white energy into him he instantly starts acting sweet and happy again, like nothing was wrong at all. Of course, this is after we did all sorts of things to make him feel better, and one incense I used was a smell he knew well and was comfortable with.

STILL. It's sort of funny.

No matter what happened, I'm happy Koji is feeling better.

TOTALLY UNRELATED and so I don't end on magical energies, I borrowed a tea Nadia got at Teavana, which is as heavenly a place as it sounds. A totally insane man who called himself Golden Monkey and was being promoted to manager oscillated between seeming like a deranged hippy to being this insane tea otaku who could rattle off details I can't think of anyone who could just go into so smooth and know so well offhand, not even Amy. He was king of all tea nerds.

So this is a green tea I borrowed and I've learned more than ever the difference between a good tea and a bagged tea. A bagged green tea takes almost exactly the same however long you brew it, just that if it's steeped longer it's stronger, less it's weaker. Some will taste a bit more bitter, but really they taste bitter in the first place. This green tea, it's mental, it's a totally different tea if you brew it for a minute, UNDRINKABLE if you brew for longer than that, and ideal if brewed for no longer than 45 seconds. If brewed for the proper time, the tea is a pale but true green, and it actually tastes sweet, not at all bitter. There's a delicious macha taste, too, that I can't describe really and you know the flavor if you've had a good macha. It's a flavor only a truly green green tea has. Brewed too long, it tastes worse than any twinings green you have ever had. I rarely dump a cup of tea, but when I forgot about it and let it sit for 10 minutes, I poured that shit out, brewed a proper cuppa.

Worth it. This tea is soooo gooood.

Meme because of Moira

2009-07-30T13:55:30Z

Moira did a meme and so will I. I don't like doing memes but I will anyway, feel free to do it.

Name: Varies. Nicoleslaw is the current one I guess.
Birthday: April 28, 1983
Current Location: Massachusetts, westa wostah.
Hair Color: something like dark brown, naturally blonde
Zodiac Sign: The cow
Your Heritage: Italian, Portuguese, then a bunch of white people.
Goals: Become a star of porn comics.
Regrets: Not telling more people to shut the fuck up.
Relieve Stress: Bite/make fun of Phillip. Bounce.
Hardest thing ever dealt with: Hahahahaha TIM. (Hi Tim)
Things that upset you: Getting commissions and not finishing them. God I hate that. Shit I'm so sorry Grue. Shit shit DNW.

yesterday, today, tomorrow

Your thoughts first waking up: Tea
Your bedtime: I haven't slept yet.
Your most missed memory: I had some memories that were good I think. I prefer memories that are recent though. One time we ordered sushi, me and Nadia, and we were in Japan and the fish was ALIVE. That was so cool.
Pepsi or Coke: I hate soda.
McDonald's or Burger King: It makes me sick but I like mcdonalds fries because they don't taste like food.
Lipton Tea or Nestea?: I would rather suffer then drink your weak tea.
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla.
Cappuccino or Coffee: ???

do you?

Do drugs?: Not unless it's perscribed to me.
Have a crush: Mostly every day, but mostly they are not with real people.
Think you've been in love: Of course, even with real people.
Want to get married: Yes, I will have a goth wedding and a normal wedding and wear a lolita dress.
Believe in yourself: Yes and then I remember life is pain.
Think you're a health freak: I wish I was more of one.

in the last month

Drank alcohol: Yeah actually.
Gone to the mall: I don't remember. It seems like something I'd do.
Eaten Sushi: Yes I would eat raw fish all day if I could. Best is Sea Urchin.
Dyed your hair: It never ends.
Done something exciting: I try not to. It happens anyway and it makes me very upset.

have you ever?

Played a stripping game: I think back when I knew Moira.
Gotten beaten up: Not really.
Changed who you were to fit in: Not to fit in, but I like to play characters in real life too. I guess everyone restricts themselves in some social situations. Back in school I probably could have afforded to have tried harder to fit in...

getting old

Age you're hoping to be married: I don't know, sometime, whatever.
Age to start having children: I'm not sure if I'm allowed to have children. I absolutely won't pass these genes down. It would be cruel.
Want to travel to: The midwest to see if it's evil.

perfect mate

Best Eye Color: Dark
Best Hair Color: Dark
Short or Long Hair: Long
I-I-I-I mean blonde with green eyes.

what were you doing?
1 minute ago: Drawing a dick with pearl implants.
1 hour ago: Before I was drawing I was talking about old IRC RPGs.
1 week ago: Figuring out how Lily and Irving can fit in a mecha together.
1 year ago: Avoiding everyone

finish the sentence

I LOVE: moe
I FEEL: sick
I HATE: hot weather
I MISS: Lunar Fandom, ArcadiaRPG, Southlands, Beacons, Teal and Kane, Jeffy, etc.
I NEED: to sleep at some point

Nothing more Raw than a waiter at christmas time who can be killed by being in the rain.

2009-07-26T04:41:04Z

Phillip is playing RAW DANGER. The danger is SO RAW. I am like shitting my pants. He is wearing a silk top hat and a jogging suit and dies from wading in waist deep water. RAW AS HELL M I RITE.

Adorable Food

2009-06-27T07:22:55Z

A late salmon dinner is always better when the salmon is SUPER PUMPED about being eaten. Here I used completely insane japanese cooking items given to me from Nadia, including a vegetable cutter to make Japanese emoticon faces (it even comes with parentheses) and a punch, like the kind you use to punch shapes in paper, made specifically to be used with nori, the seaweed often used to wrap sushi. Even the fish its self had a mold, to make the salmon a more aesthetic fish-shape. Made of metal, it tells you on the package (in japanese) that if you are careful you could even cook a hamburger in the mold, making a very confusing fish-shaped... hamburger?

Here's a top view. The gloss on the red pepper makes the fish seem less psyched about being food. OR POSSIBLY MORE PSYCHED??

Thoughts on the movie

2009-06-17T09:51:12Z

Star Trek post. It's not long.

The only thing I thought when young Spock talked to old Spock was, "Oh good so now he can have sex with himself in fanfics."

Also if you haven't seen this but have seen the movie, it is a terrible thing.

Also you needn't ask how I liked it, I was so happy I cried. I'm going to see it again and will need it on DVD.

character_notes @ 2009-06-16T00:26:00

2009-06-16T04:31:56Z

I don't know why, but I'm always so shocked when I get my period. I keep forgetting that it happens, like, to any human being, as in the possibility is the furthest thing from my mind. ( ...I just lost the game. Breathing manually. ) And then I have this day where I feel really sick and I keep crying and I think, "wow I must be having trouble with my medication" and then there's burgundy on my toilet paper.

Trouble sleeping?

2009-05-15T08:38:32Z

GOOD MORNING

Last night... this night? The night that wasn't this morning but was close. I talked about Lunar, because there's a new game for the PSP. Phillip mocked me mercilessly, because if you don't know, the general idea is that game arts remakes this game, Lunar The Silver Star, over and over again and every damn time I must get the game/system/whatever to play the rehash of a game for the Sega CD. "IT'S THE SAME GAME," Phillip told me. DUDE but it's NOT. Disgea-style busts of the characters. When Nash talks to you you can see ALL OF NASH. Also there will be NEW SCENES. NEW SCENES. Holy shit. But it's still being worked on in Japan, and maybe localisers in America will be like "uhh... didn't we already release this game about 8 times?" Now that I think about it, there's no way it will ever be released here. Myeheh. Oh well, I guess I have time to see if I have to buy a PSP.

*realisation* Wait! I think Nadia has one! And she speaks Japanese! Solution.

I did my classes, which is good. I'm still all boo hoo hoo in spite of this. I guess there's still stuff going on, so it's to be expected that I'm on edge. Hopefully all of the dramatic stuff will die down soon enough for me to relax a bit this summer before going back to classes in the fall.

Also I downloaded a lot of yaoi and bara in english if anyone wants some.

Writer's Block - First LiveJournal post.

2009-04-14T14:00:07Z

LiveJournal is turning 10 and we're feeling nostalgic. What was your first LJ post about?

View 503 Answers

myselftheliar did this in her live journal, so here is my first. I ended up setting this entire journal as private, but it's still up for my own references. Character_Notes was actually made so I could talk to my friends because my old journal was... well here it is.

March 26th, 2001:

I want to start this journal off by saying that I haven't made this to make those close to me feel as though they have a deeper insight into my life. I haven't made this to make perfect strangers be impressed with me. And if there is anything I haven't made this journal to do, it's to avoid what I have lived my entire life doing; walking on eggshells.

If you happen to be someone who knows me, take this journal with a grain of salt. Regardless of whether or not my entries are respectful or put the nicest way, please try to have some understanding. My friends all know that I spend my life shivering in a corner, scared shitless of every little noise or any slight sign of danger. I plan my words and plot my course well, to the point where I sound fake. Even now I am.

Basically what I'm trying to get at is that if you are offended by what I say, that means you should congradulate me because it means (even if my statement was or was not true) that I am conquring my fear. I have made this journal to be the friend I was always afraid to make, convinced that the person in question would hate me forever.

If you do not know me and are a random person surfing the journals, be forewarned. I have no profound things to say. No soap operas to tell you, no coming of age novel, and no sappy sweet puppy love. My skill lies in art, not with words so much although language is an art. I won't amaze you with the creativity of my sentence structure or wow you with how well I can space a sentence in between two paragraphs for dramatic effect.

But this shouldn't suck too bad. Even if it is for myself, I like to try to be a little funny, and you can guarentee none of the normal musings. After all, I have no trouble confessing usual problems to my friends; its not as if anyone I'm friends with is any less that I am, nor are they any more. I belive differences are all equal, and that is why they are different. Certainly everyone I know can understand some facet of my personality, regardless of whether or not it is an "importaint" facet. How can anything be more importaint than another? It can only be different. Different can mean many things. It can mean harder to see, to understand, harder to grasp.. but everyone I know can see something. Maybe I might not even see what they see in me. It is a fool who pretends to know all of the answers. (Just cheatin' yourself)

This said, I hope to be sucessful in my meager little attempt at self improvement. I hope this increases my bravery.... Here I am, for the world to see!

I read this and I get shivers, even though it's spelled so poorly and written so pretentiously. (My first mood was morose) This was actually one of the most upbeat journal entries of the time, and to my credit I felt no need to make all my friends see it. I had it public as some kind of cry for help, but I was very happy to see that no one found it except for a few people who commented that they felt for me. It does set the tone, though, and I feel bad for little Nicole. This was with no medication, remember, and all the miseries of my former life. It represents it perfectly because I was hiding in plain sight. I said "for the world to see" but I never intended for anyone to find it. Complicated.

A little better

2009-03-24T16:36:13Z

I guess it's one thing after another. I was put on a new medication that resulted in me crying for hours at a time and developing seisures of negative emotions where I would shake, lash out and go into repeditive mantras. I was experiencing memory loss. And like a nightmare to me and my desire to never inconvenience anyone, I am devistated that I caused my closest friends great amounts of stress.

In short, this is what happened. My psychiatrist, who told me to go on a new medication in the evenings, insisted sharply over the phone that she never meant to go off of one, the one that caused this. LOLS ENSUED. I am now back to normal... but not without ruining my spring break, as I spent it in hell.

Uhm well uh positive thing. Uh. I. It's. I still can't draw-- no that's negative. It seems my last post was a bit too grim for many people to respond, so I need to improve my image. Maybe if I'm negative in a really funny way it'll lighten the blow.

FOOD TASTES LIKE ASH, AND THE SPRING SUN FEELS LIKE THE FLAMES OF DAMNATION.

Plus Amy's broken. And Nadia screamed. Locke cried. It was briefly suggested I go to a mental institution. Well I guess that's pretty funny, mental institution. Haah. Maybe Nadia should go. She'd finally have time to write and she wouldn't have to go places all the time.

Guys talk about videogames or something, I'm serious. Or Adachi porn. I'd draw my own but it seems I'm having a lapse. ... ... ... Dammit.

I made it adult concepts because a swear a lot.

2009-03-10T21:05:43Z

This is a Lunar Mecha post. Lunar Mecha is my game. People not on IRC and not in my game may not care, but I'm making it public anyway.

My game is hard. Very hard. I've always wondered, why is the game so hard? Maybe it's because I am really bad at orginizatonal skills. That's a strong possibility. I'd go through a list of my other shortcomings that could make this be, or self esteem, or whatever, but I think I will leave it to the list of 25 motherfucking NPCs who are crutial to the plot. Yes, I'm not counting Amaretto Suiris, or Sewing Queen Valerie, or Faire Burroughs. 25 NPCs I can't run my game without existing but who at least 2 of which may never show up in the game. So then how are they crutial? There's that many plot threads.

I can't reveal the list but let's see... There are at least 4 seperate intrest groups. Out of the 25 crutial NPCs the PCs have JUST MET 12. I'm running the game like an anime and I consider this the SECOND SEASON. What the hell is wrong with me? Is this even a good thing at this point?

I've realised why my game is hard. I have no plot. Well no. I have multiple plots for the game. In this season alone, just brancing off of Larittia I have 6 predicted pathways that I think the PCs will take. Some may say this is good, some is bad, but the fact is that this is BULLSHIT. I didn't even realise until I started to wonder what the next plot of the game is. Or what the best ending of the game was. I HAVE NO GOOD ENDING. There is no ideal ending to the game! What the fuck kind of game am I trying to run on Lunarnet?

To try and deal with this I wrote out a long bio for each integral NPC since writing about game plots proved unfruitful. I tried to make session titles and stuff. I still hope I can use Maid to Kill. Because there is a maid and I am hoping she kills something. See I am fucking Shakespeare. How did I spell that right when I can't even spell nessisary.

But I don't know how to come to grips with this plot. I both love it and hate it. I wish it was like... you learn there is a government conspiracy. That government conspiracy is obviously evil. You magically have the power to overthrow the government if you collect 4 orbs. Since the government was the only corrupt thing, you have without any dispute saved the world. It's not poetry but it's a plot! I mean I don't even have anything close to that. There is no climax, no conclusion. It makes me wonder... I wouldn't write a story like this, draw a manga like this, make a console game like this... so if it's this open-ended is it really a game? I hope to myself that the PCs will make a story, but I wonder if that plan will really succeed enough to dedicate a story to.

I guess what I'm asking is... at what point does it get out of hand? When does it become unmanageable? I know that too much planning can ruin a game but can a game ever be ruined by giving the PCs too long of a leash?

DOLLS!

2009-02-27T15:30:00Z

Hello everyone!

As some of you know, I like to make 1/6th dolls of RPGcharacters. This doesn't apply to everyone, but if you are in a game with me, continue to read.

I am poor, but I want to make all of you dolls. Well, most of you. I have decided that I will work virtually for free provided people can give me money. A small donation is good, but I would like 50 dollars from anyone who wants a doll out of the characters listed below. If you fund me, you may have the doll sent to you, the shipping included in the 50 dollar fee. If you just donate I don't know when you'll get it, but I'll work on it!

Body: 20 dollars
Accessories/hair: 30
Shipping: 5
Supplies: 5

As you can see, I am pretty much working and sending for free. If you are very generous towards things and have a little money, paying more would cover enough for me to be payed for my work and the use of my paint, but it is honestly not required.

Here are the characters I am willing to make

LUNAR MECHA

Kamil
Irving
Fletcher (You can just help me when you can, Locke ;) )
Argentte
Eva

(If you order an NPC I'll send you them, yes.)

Minka
Lightbane
Kelta
Cord
Xanthus

BEACONS

Merrim
Raven
Rae
Morgan
Millya
Wind
Old Grey (I only need 15 for this)

ES

Shiara
Mayhew
Akagi

Lunar and Lou

Teal
Kane
Kasumi
Pharos
Any Flying Cat for 35

Nadia, I'd do any of your characters. <3

Also, sorry to be specific, but I will also make

Flara
Niri
Banya-san
Lucius Darke?
Shane
Nedisya

Here is an example of my work.

obsidian.lunarnet.org/lunarmecha/dolls/tianna1.jpg

That should be all. <3 you all

I woke up

2009-02-21T13:58:33Z

I closed the bedroom door because I was very tired.... figured when Locke was tired he'd go to bed, bring Koji. But when I woke up, Locke was sleeping on the couch... but next to him Koji was in his cat bed, just about 1/4th too small for him.

character_notes @ 2009-02-15T05:02:00

2009-02-15T10:04:24Z

For Valentine's day I got <3 <3 and DOLL STUFF

Happy.

The only thing that would have made it better would have been Nadia... before the <3 <3

2 posts in one day!

2009-02-07T19:40:54Z

This is just for pictures people have been asking me fore.

Click here for the cross!

ho whatchu doin

2009-02-07T16:04:59Z

Holy shit Health and Nutrition class looks brutal and evil. I must benkyo for the test on Tuesday but I hate science unless it is awesome science. I just figured out on reading how to prepare for the test that his lectures have NOTHING to do with the test and that it's all book reading and powerpoints he uploads, so this may as well just be an online class. Asshole. So I am busy today and have class monday, leaving Sunday for study. Ass butts cornhole cummuffins.

It also sucks to wake up early now! I woke up with my cat Koji spooned against me to the left (teaspoon?) and Phillip snoring to the left. They are both still in bed, as are most of my friends. I guess this way I can catch my early friends, which is good, but still man.

Hey Nadia

2009-01-27T16:14:56Z

The Wii Balance Board wishes you a happy birthday and hopes it was a wonderful, special time for you.

You are not SCIENTIFIC enough to use chopsticks.

2009-01-26T14:14:46Z

At a Chinese restaurant, Nadia says, "lol, you know how you can tell a true weeaboo?" Wiggles her huge eyebrows, "You eat fried rice with a SPOON."

No, Nadia. That's a person who has been to Japan and has immersed themselves in the culture enough to recognize a good way to consume a food popular in another culture.

A WEEABOO would eat fried rice with the given, plastic chopsticks,and in fact painstakingly try and eat every small bite with those things like they were a sacred tool, even if they ate their rice one fucking grain at a time. They would do this, then snark at the fact they were given forks or spoons at all.

character_notes @ 2009-01-25T08:54:00

2009-01-25T14:00:39Z

View Poll: When do you get off your bike?

Diet Diary

2009-01-24T15:46:39Z

For my science class this semester I'm taking a totally fake class. It's food and nutrition, taught by a dietitian. I am keeping a diet diary and I have to say the things I eat are irrational. We got software with our book. I'm eager to see how it handles Uni-Ikura Don.

It ends up on school days I eat at 7 and don't stop eating, and I mean huge meals, every hour until noon, at which time I eat like I'm anorexic. (Spoonful of peanut butter, fistful of plain, cooked white rice with no butter or salt) Buh?

I've been thinking more about my fears

2009-01-23T12:35:10Z

I'm on a new medication, Abilify. It works better than Seroquel but it's also a retardedly expensive psychotropic. I'm very proud to be on a psychotropic, because they are crazy-pills of the highest order. Honestly they're no more glamourous for a crazy person than prozac, but I feel special being on a type of medication previously only used to hush the voices in your head.

I think Rasis got the number thing closest. When I noticed he commented I figured he'd mock me, but in joking about it he hit it on the head. Those numbers look WRONG. Since I'm really into typography, maybe I am sensitive to the form numbers take? The most horrifying thing is anything :59, because :00 does NOT COME AFTER 59. It does in clocks, but it is WRONG. The more I think about it, the more it upsets me.

I remember my friend Amy, the punkstar one, was really afraid of brains and canned tuna. We would be very polite about it, avoid discussion of certain things, and try and not have tuna around her. I was very upset when her boyfriend, then my friend and the reason why I met her, tried to force her fears out. Yesh. Time and reason are the only things that fix those, or medication and therapy. Avery's therapy was not terribly effective. I am SO GLAD she has a boyfriend now not deliberately trying to destroy her. Avery is still my friend, but he was such an awful boyfriend it makes me wonder if I should even call him my friend.

Phillip was nice (is always nice), because I bought a saint andrew's cross (as I mentioned) and it's this huge, heavy thing. It doesn't fold away too conveniently. I told him the thing made me happy to be on display, even though it could be classified as a sex thing, I think of it as a piece of functional art. After a discussion he actually tried to accomidate it while being reasonable about when it can be out and when it should be out of sight. Unrelated to fears, I want a big foam/plastic skeleton to hang from it and threaten guests with the same fate as it.

I have more than just fears and paranoia. Lately I've been able to think about the future, and I've decided I can do no better in life than to marry Phillip, without question. He is kind, patient, good-looking, tidy, moral, intelegent, loves my best friend as I love her, and not only takes care of me but also takes care of Nadia. So I've been thinking, "Shit, I'd better think of a good wedding that doesn't suck" and I was talking about it with Nadia in the girly tea store, tea lady hypervhentilates when I tell her all of the awesome things Phillip does. If you aren't aware, Locke not only pays for the house, our food, the animals' food, and sometimes even clothes or games for me, he also does most of the chores. He does not take it for granted I should even cook, which *I* take for granted. When I said, "It would be pretty stupid if I don't marry him, honestly" she hit me on the shoulder and said "IF YOU DON'T MARRY HIM???" Haha. I learned she's Italiano! Makes sense. She acts like my mum's relatives.

Oh wow, got to get to history class. I don't want to go. I want to work on Stuart. Gayo linked me to an awesome E-book and Hiro's awake. Oh well.

Internet

2009-01-15T00:42:03Z

This makes me think of Nadia...

Because she is always talking about porn for women. On one article about this book, a girl (I assume) responded, "This book would be much more effective if the men were naked. But of course, that's the whole joke. Is it more offensive to assume women don't need to see naked people because they are women, or more offensive to say that if they DID, it isn't legitimate? I don't know...

As for porn for girls, here is some porn.

OH BABY.
Mix that with some ikea shelves and a shopping spree at the container store...